Mashable has declared June 30 Social Media Day, which is really weird because I could have sworn that was every day. Everyone celebrate by tweeting something stupid (like a link to this post) and then sharing it on Facebook. What a rare treat for your friends and followers. I had a family once. Do you remember when you had a family? Those are so last season! What even made you think of them?

Even though I spend 19 hours a day online, I have yet to embrace Foursquare — I divulge enough personal info on this blog already and don’t need any more nerds stalking me as I traipse home from the liquor store. I’m also kind of a shut-in so my list of “check-ins” would be really boring. “I’m at the Entertainment Weekly office.” “I’m at home.” “@AnniesEvilDVR has just ousted @EWAnnieBarrett as the mayor of the living room!” But I do feel like I could get behind the TV-related badges from PHILO. You just unlock the badge of the show you’re currently watching and then see what your friends are watching, if you have friends. (There’s an app for this.) I could easily “win” the Art Vandelay badge for watching Seinfeld, Dance Machine badge for SYTYCD, and the Tom Crooz badge for South Park. It would all be very Troop Beverly Hills of me. “I don’t need no stinking badges for activities that are actually social!” I would scream in the style of Rosa the Maid (soon to be Rosario on Will & Grace!).

Now all I need is an app that can confirm my mayorship of Dancing With the Stars without my having to ever join Foursquare. I certainly also deserve the Jewelry Appraisal Patch for my many spelunking trips down the rabbit hole of Hidden Gems, and the Night Cheese badge because duh. Which fictional Troop Beverly Hills-esque patches do you feel you deserve based on your TV-watching habits?

Annie on Twitter: @EWAnnieBarrett

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