By Michael Slezak
Updated June 15, 2010 at 09:08 PM EDT

The lyrics for Adam Lambert’s latest single, “If I Had You,” suggest decadent scenes in nightclubs and hotels and assorted urban glamor stations. But for the corresponding video, which hit the Web yesterday, the unrepentant imp/American Idol season 8 runner-up takes the song’s “life would be a party, it’d be ecstasy” lyrics and transports them to a forest setting. It’s like a mashup of Where the Wild Things Are, Xtina’s “Dirrty” video, and a light splash of Avatar. (Seriously. It’s set in the woods, and Adam has a big, crazy mullet-braid/Na’vi thingamajig, and there are enchanted glowing streamers all over the place, no?) That smirk at the very end of the video puts an exclamation point on Adam’s “get down or get out” message: Groove things will be shaken. Magical light will swirl overhead. Wigs will be donned. Shoulder pads will sprout like sea anemones. And plushies will rise from the mist. Plus, Adam’s Idol kid sister Allison Iraheta and possibly that Ke$ha person will arrive on the scene for the sole pleasure of dancing in the background. (The red-headed rocker, who I am mildly-to-moderately obsessed with, first gets her shimmy on at the 2:40 mark; the “Blah Blah Blah” singer, who barely exists on my pop-culture radar, is not important enough to warrant any time-stamp GPS action. In fact, are we 100 percent certain she’s in this video?)

Unlike Adam’s last clip, the artist-in-conflict internalized soap opera “Whataya Want from Me,” there’s nothing deep going on here, unless you count Mr. Lambert revealing the step-kick-strut maneuver of his “signature walk.” But with his silver ringleader’s hat, Adam jauntily portrays himself as a commanding master of freaky-deaky ceremonies, an astute move that carries the not-so-subliminal message of “Buy yourself (and your friends) some tickets for my ongoing Glam Nation tour! A glittery good time will be had by all!” And what’s more, the clip managed to make me forget (momentarily, anyway) that “If I Had You” is one of my least favorite tracks on Lambert’s For Your Entertainment set. I won’t turn this into a tirade asking his label why it didn’t choose “Sleepwalker” or “Strut” or the absolutely delectable “Fever” as Adam’s summer radio offering — I know, I know, that last-named track contains the lethal (!) pronoun “he”! Le gasp! — and instead I’ll turn the chatter over to you. What do you think of the “If I Had You” video? Does Adam have a megahit on his hands? Hash it out in the comments below!

p.s. Adam, I don’t think that’s an iPad you’re texting on; it’s too thick! What the wholahay is it?

p.p.s. To get all my scoop on your favorite Idol grads, follow me on Twitter @EWMichaelSlezak; and while you’re at it, get hip to EW’s Music Mix blog @EWMusicMix!

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