10 hot topics for the week of May 23, 2010

By Dan Snierson
Updated May 21, 2010 at 04:00 AM EDT

1. Jennifer Aniston denies trying baby-food diet
But she’s mysteriously mum on reports that in a fit of ”baby crazy,” she kidnapped the infant on the Gerber jar.

2. Sean Penn assigned to anger-management classes after altercation with paparazzo
It should be interesting: His court-ordered counselor is Jack Nicholson.

3. NBC cancels Law & Order
Reducing the number of times per week that one can watch L&O on TV by…hold on, double-checking my math…zero percent.

4. Lost memorabilia up for auction
Not expected to receive many bids: Hurley’s used lobster bib.

5. Billy Ray Cyrus defends Miley’s edgy lap dance, telling TMZ she was just ”having fun”
He paused thoughtfully, then continued: ”You wouldn’t buy that rationale for my ’90s mullet, too, would you?”

6. After last boyfriend was sent to prison, Anne Hathaway’s new guy caught on film stealing mural from construction site
Check out Hathaway’s heart-themed special episode of COPS: ”Bad beaus, bad beaus, wha’cha gonna do?”

7. Amanda Seyfried’s Letters to Juliet opens three months after her other romantic love-letter drama, Dear John
Dearest Amanda, I had to pass on both. It’s not you — it’s the love-letter genre. (Remember the Lake House incident? Exactly.) I hope we can still be friends? Conditionally yours, Dan.

8. The Beatles to be reborn in zombie film Paul Is Undead
You may find it hard to get movie’s big ballad, ”Let It Zombie,” out of your brain.

9. Dennis Quaid gained 35 pounds to play Bill Clinton in The Special Relationship by eating McDonald’s: ”I did it the way he did”
”When I was too busy to eat there, a very helpful intern would pick it up for me,” he said, adding, ”Maybe take that part off the record.”

10. Forbes reports that Gisele Bündchen is world’s highest-paid model, raking in $25 million last year
Does money buy happiness? Of course not — hotness does.