There may not be three shadier words than ”Better Call Saul!” The ambulance-chasing, loophole-embracing lawyer who advises Walt White on Breaking Bad is as slippery as he is entertaining. We asked Saul Goodman (or rather, Bob Odenkirk, the actor who plays him) to offer counsel to a few sketchy citizens.
I broke my ankle running a package to the mailroom for my boss. Granted, I was drinking on the job, but am I entitled to a sweet check? —Josh, Tucson, Ariz.
SAUL SAYS: Your boss is making you run?!? You have a case! Don’t go to your doctor, go to my doctor. And of course you are drinking on the job, with all that stress your boss is putting on you! In a way, your boss got you drunk, and that’s the first step to sexual harassment…. My mind is on fire! This is going to be great — get in here!
I was throwing this rager of a party. When the cops busted in to cite me for a noise violation, they discovered six bags of meth on my kitchen table. Help! —Scott, Manchester, N.H.
SAUL SAYS: They ”discovered” the meth on the kitchen table? Interesting. Who knows who was at this party? The only people we know for certain are the cops. I can help the jury put two and two together to make six — by the time I’m done, the only people partying in your house will be the cops! Let’s do this!
So I was walking down a dark alley, and lying next to this semiconscious, bloody-faced man was a locked suitcase, which contained $100,000 in cash. Finders keepers? —Heath, Durango, Colo.
SAUL SAYS: Mostly. You’ll have to split some of that with your lawyer. How about 50-50? Okay, wait — you found the money, I didn’t. But you will need some tax advice and maybe some shelter from the IRS storm…. So let’s make that 70-30 in my favor. I’m starting the paperwork!