'Community' recap: Movie cliches have never been so good

Image Credit: Trae Patton/NBCWe watched the best parts of every major action movie from the past 30 or so years last night on Community. And the scenes were as good — if not better — than when I first watched them at an inappropriately young age. Add to that a paintball war and some major Jeff and Britta action, and what you get is a really fun half hour that you can literally watch a few times in one night…and I would know.

Much like the characters battling it out for the chance at priority registration, the episode became a game of name that movie. From Jeff awaking from a car nap to find the university in a state of chaos and destruction to his wounded soldier love scene with Britta, it was a cliché buffet, and I ate it up like a plate of from-the-oil cafeteria chicken fingers. Mmmm. But there was heart and meaning masked in the overtone of movie mockery, like when Britta told Jeff that he was a good person and when Jeff proved her right by giving Shirley his priority registration victory prize. Jeff and his shockingly rippled muscles (CGI? kidding…I think) might have won the heated paintball competition, but Community won the night with this episode. I guess I owe Ken Tucker a coke.

So let’s get on to this week’s best lines (before we play a little game):

“My boys are going to make me breakfast in bed for mother’s day. Well, actually I’m goin’ to make the breakfast and get in bed, but they’re going to bring it to me” — Shirley

“To be blunt, Jeff and Britta is no Ross and Rachel. Your chemistry and sexual tension are putting us all on edge, which is ironically, and hear this on every level, you’re keeping us from being friends.” — Abed

Shirley: Oh, just like Sam and Diane. [Deadpan] I hated Sam and Diane.

Annie: Who are Sam and Diane?

Shirley: Okay, we get it. You’re young!

Pierce: Want my advice? Pork her and be done. We did it all the time in my day.

Jeff: You also put hydrogen in blimps, and that was bad.

“There’s also going to be a game of paintball assassin, with a prize for last man standing. Or last man in a wheelchair with no paint on him.” — Dean Pelton

Troy: I want TBD. Is that new?

Pierce: If it’s what I think, I had it for about a month in the ’70s.

Jeff: There’s no “Britta and Jeff.”

Pierce: …he said, fully erect.

“And tell the drama club their tears will be real today” — Jeff

Troy: You thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?

Shirley: Mmhmm. Our team’s walking with God.

“Real nice, Troy. That’d be great PR for the black students” — Shirley, after Troy suggests an alliance

PopWatchers, like a douchebag who brings their own gear to a game, I’m armed and ready to go. So let’s play: Name that Movie Reference (and throw in your comments about this week’s episode, if you wish). Let’s see what we can come up with together. Ready, set, go!

I’ll start with my favorite: Señor Chang = Tony Montana (”Scarface”) …or was it Chow Yun-Fat (per Mike in comments)? Your call.