The Real Housewives of New York City

Following in the talentless, Manolo’d footsteps of Real Housewives of Atlanta trainwreck Kim Zolciak, Countess LuAnn de Lesseps now has her own horrible new single, “Money Can’t Buy You Class”. Needless to say, it’s no “Tardy for the Party.” But then again, what is?

For those who’ve been following the Countess’ exploits on the new season of The Real Housewives of NYC, you already know that this has been a year of big changes and second acts for the Gotham royal. She’s split from her titled husband, returned to the dating market, forged an alliance against Bethenny with mean girl Jill, and generally stuck her nose everywhere it doesn’t belong. Apparently, that also includes a recording studio.

For a woman who looks down her nose at the undignified peons, LuAnn’s dance music gambit is pretty much a case of the pot calling the kettle black. After all, it’s hard to be classy shaking your rump with a pair of headphones on while having your voice mangled by Autotune and singing the chorus: “Elegance is learned…my friends! Elegance is learned…oh yeah!Maybe this is the kind of disco fromage the Countess used to dance to after a day on the slopes in Gstaad back in her modeling days, but her husky man-voice and stiff delivery sounds so god-awful in 2010 that my monocle almost fell out.

Here’s a taste of some of the more choice lyrics:

“How many men there are that forget to hold the door/when I give them so much more than they can imagine/money-rich and manners-poor never got the boys too far/money talks but I just walk when I can’t stand it…”

“The lesson all should learn even if there’s cash to burn: respect yourself because no one else can change your path…”

“Now ladies don’t forget to allow the man you’ve met to exemplify the very best behavior/when entering a room, greet everyone and soon you’ll be invited and entitled to the grandeur…”

“Life is all about elegance and flair and savoir faire/you don’t have to be rich or famous to be unforgettable…ha hahhhh!

Tacky, tacky, Luann.

Hell to the No!
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