By Whitney Pastorek
April 19, 2010 at 12:00 PM EDT

Internet’s all abuzz today because Sandra Bullock’s sister, Gesine Bullock-Prado, proprietor of a blog called Confections of a (Closet) Master Baker, wrote a post informing the world that reports she and her cuckolded, Oscar-winning sister spent Easter together were hella not true. In the blog post — which appears to have since disappeared from the sugary site, but which various websites including our friends over at People partially transcribed beforehand — Gesine explained that she and her husband spent Easter in Chicago, and therefore she could not, repeat, not have been at a New England inn with her sister.

So Sandy’s not with her sister. She’s certainly not with her estranged spouse. She is not, just to get this on the record in case you were wondering, staying in my apartment (to the best of my knowledge). No, Sandra Bullock remains at large, a woman wanted for the crime of desiring a little effing privacy during what has to be a pretty dire time for herself. How dare she. Let’s hope someone sniffs her out like the giant-hat-wearing celebrity truffle she is sooner rather than later so we as a nation can exhale and get back to trying to boot that Gosselin lady from the dancing show before the ash gets here and cancels another movie premiere. I mean honestly I get so nervous when I don’t know where all the famous people are all the time, especially the hurt and/or grieving ones. It’s so selfish when they refuse to make themselves known, don’t you think? Oh yes. Definitely. Just plain selfish.