10 hot topics for the week of April 18, 2010

By Dan Snierson
Updated April 16, 2010 at 04:00 AM EDT

1. TLC orders Twist of Kate, in which Kate Gosselin travels country assisting families
There’s a mom in Pennsylvania obsessed with reality shows and battling her estranged husband. How can she find time to raise eight kids? Kate Gosselin, please help!!!

2. Slash wears ”I’m with Coco” pin during performance on The Tonight Show
Was it just me, or did you also notice the orange fright wig underneath his top hat?

3. On 29th birthday, Taylor Kitsch announced as star of Battleship, big-screen adaptation of board game
To think that last year, all he got on his big day was a callback for a role as the letter Q in the never-released Scrabble 3D.

4. Jeopardy! renewed through 2013-14 season
What is the best news your know-it-all uncle heard today?

5. Lindsay Lohan’s 49-year-old dad pops the question to Jon Gosselin’s 27-year-old ex-girlfriend
And that question is, wanna turn 15 minutes of fame into a lifetime of shame?

6. Tiger Woods exclaims ”Tiger Woods, you suck!” after botched tee shot at Masters
A group of hecklers muttered, ”It’s just not the same when you do it,” and dejectedly walked away.

7. Nic Cage loses Bel Air mansion after foreclosure auction yields no bidders
Cage still gets the last laugh, though — he’s hidden the front-door key somewhere deep inside Mount Rushmore.

8. ABC announces Aug. 9 premiere for Bachelor Pad, featuring Bachelor and Bachelorette contestants shacking up
You’ll find it in the TV listings under its original name, Rose Rejects: The Thorny-Horny Hour!

9. Slayer frontman Tom Araya forced to get titanium plate in neck, says he no longer can headbang
So lemme get this straight — his neck is now totally metal and yet it can’t rock? Oh, the dark irony.

10. Jersey Shore to end season 2 in New Jersey after filming in Miami
Production had to wait for the Purell coating applied to the state after season 1 to dry.