By Mandi Bierly
Updated April 12, 2010 at 03:26 PM EDT

The Oprah Winfrey Show is looking for guests for upcoming shows on Twilight, Justin Bieber, and dream prom dates. Wow, Oprah is suddenly a 16-year-old girl. Llove it! Check out the show’s site to explain in 2,000 characters or less why she needs to have you present.

Suggested topics for Twihards: “Why do you love the story so much? How has it impacted your life? What have you learned from the series and how has it made you a better person? Are you a housewife who’s started a fan club with friends? Do you have a young adult in your family who’s been inspired to write his/her own stories? Has the romance in Twilight sparked the romance in your own relationship?

For Bieber fans: “Please tell us what you love about Justin Bieber and why? Is your entire room a shrine to Justin? Have you been collecting his memorabilia? Do you know all the words to his songs? What would it mean to you to see Justin Bieber in person and hear him sing!!? Include any pictures or videos to tell your story. Thank you and we look forward to hearing why you are the biggest Justin Bieber fan!”

For those in need of a prom date: “The Oprah Show is taking a poll to find out which Celebrity our viewers would most want to take as their prom date. Have you always dreamed about a celebrity picking you up and taking you to prom? Who would your ultimate dream prom date be? What would happen if your favorite star picked you up for the big dance? The Oprah Show wants to know who would make your Prom Dreams come true. Please tell us who you wish could escort you to prom this spring.”

Let me just tell you, kids, as someone who has a yearbook full of friends wishing her a happy life with Jordan Knight from News Kids on the Block, think long-term. For instance, if you’re a fan of The Colbert Report, maybe say “Stephen Colbert.” Ten years from now, you’ll still think he’s awesome. Plus, for Oprah-sized publicity — and if he can air a segment on his show — he might actually do it…