Welcome to the Sideways world, in which Doc Jensen is a theology professor who watches no television and was once arrested for lecturing in the buff, while I am a 5-foot-7.5-inch EW.com writer who recaps Lost episodes in traditional 5-7-5 haiku format. (“LA X”: Flash sideways — What if?/No, wait… Real reality?/Ouchy! Pulled my brain) Without further backstory, why don’t we whip up a few poems that — no, no, wait! Please don’t leave. I was just kidding. Doc Jensen will be here very, very soon to deliver his Thoughts of Awesome on this week’s episode, titled “The Package.” In fact, if you listen closely, you can hear the frantic, inspired tapping of his titanium-reinforced keyboard. But until his analysis arrives, let’s get a quick conversation started about “The Package.”(WARNING: If you haven’t watched “The Package” yet, stop reading right now, or you’re going to get spoiled something fierce.)
Yes, we knew we were headed for a bit of a letdown after last week’s mythological extravangaza “Ab Aeterno,” but still, a fair amount of goods were delivered in “The Package,” which brought us the Sideways story of Jin and Sun, who, like Sayid, were tangled up in a situation named Keamy. On the island, we didn’t get that seemingly inevitable Jin/Sun reunion, but instead received a touching scene in which Jin saw his daughter Ji Yeon — or at least a few pictures of her. Plus, we’re about to get our war on! As for the other twists sprinkled throughout the hour: I was totally surprised by the return of Patchy. (And his painful disPatching was eye-larious!) I was definitely surprised to be back in Room 23. (Remember when God subliminally loved Jacob way back in season 3?) I was kinda surprised to see Sun show some skin in the bedroom with Jin. (Buttons be gone!) I was not really surprised to see Desmond revealed as the secret sub package — he had to return somehow — but very glad to have Des back with us. I was underwhelmed by the UnLocke/Sun chase scene, but entranced as usual as he plotted his exodus mission in cryptic fashion. Looks like he needs Kate to help him with recruiting in the short term, but then… whatever happens, happens. And when he said it may be for the best that Sayid feels nothing because it will help him get through “what’s coming,” the room got a little chillier. Liked the battle lines being drawn on the beach too.
What about you? Where did “The Package” rank amongst this season’s episodes? When will we see a Jin-Sun reunion? Did you like the aphasia plot? Why exactly did Widmore bring Desmond back? Any predictions for the coming war? Anyone know when V returns? Start your typing, then check out the latest edition of Totally Lost, which offers a meaty discussion about “Ab Aeterno” and some camera time for the always entertaining Titus Welliver.