'The Real Housewives of New York' recap: The pinot grigio strikes back
Image Credit: Mitchell Haaseth/BravoGood grief did the women throw some low blows last night. I wish for two things this season, neither of which I believe will ever come true. I long for the end of Fashion Week, and I want all this ugliness between Jill and Bethenny to go away. But yikes it seems those two will remain forever estranged. Bethenny misdirected all of her frustration at LuAnn, pouncing on La Contessa at a fashion show. Pissed that LuAnn dared suggest she was suddenly a staple at the shows, Bethenny let loose on her. “I don’t like you, I don’t trust, you and I think you’re a snake,” she spat. Okay, well, not everybody can be friends, you say snake, she hears skank. But Bethenny wasn’t done yet. She wanted LuAnn to know that her sudden allegiance with Jill was totally bogus. “She’s been talking about how you sleep around for the last year to everyone,” she said. LuAnn’s face drained of color, and she sat there tight and stunned throughout the show. Bethenny admitted in her private interview that the dig was deeply uncool. Too little, too late.
It was kind of fun to watch the bitchiness explode out of Ramona after weeks of hearing her claims of a spiritual renewal. At a fashion show, Ramona discovered that Kelly’s next stop of the evening was meeting Jill at a Perez Hilton-hosted party. Ramona harumphed about not being invited, so Kelly half-heartedly told her she could come along. “I should be nice and go,” Ramona faux-graciously told the cameras. Never mind that her young daughter looked wary and confused alone in the back of the cab as her mother excitedly waved goodbye. Later, at a private party Jill put together at Saks Fifth Avenue, Ramona really let her cattiness come out and play. Here she is on her surprise that Saks and Jill had paired up for an evening of fun: “I had heard this rumor that she was blackballed from Saks because she was returning so many clothes after she had worn them and they were really quite upset with her.” Here she is on Jill’s dress, that at some angles admittedly did appear to be made out of waxed elephant skin. “JIll’s dress that night reminded me of her apartment,” she said, masking her hiss with a coy giggle. “It just didn’t look as chic as it could have.” Meanwhile Jill and her daughter were having the time of their lives. “Dying!” daughter said of all the clothes on display. “Dying!” agreed Mama.
Can someone please help explain my growing, grudging affection for Kelly? She always struck me as crazy and not at all clever last season. So is a crazy, unclever person really capable of completely retooling her image? Is Kelly faking it or is she actually not as bad as we thought? Because suddenly her “Stawp! Stawp! Bethenny, just stawp!” from last season has morphed into the calm, collected voice of reason during last night’s Bethenny and LuAnn snit fit. “Honestly, stop,” she asked the two grown women, before very smoothly extricating herself from the middle so she could sit next to her pal Lisa Rinna.
And later when an off-her-rocker Ramona flounced over, wondering about the current state of Kelly’s apparently cockeyed breasts, Kelly coolly shut her down. Ramona started twitching when the gals called her rude, her head snapping side to side as she made frantic jazz hands. “I just call it like it is,” she shrieked. (I hate it when people try to excuse their rudeness by relabeling it honesty.) Kelly, without raising her voice, and thus amping Ramona up to another level of batshit, told her all she was in fact doing was meanly regurgitating a gossip column. “You don’t call it like it is,” she said. “That’s so off the charts rude.” Then she left, leaving Ramona sputtering in the background to her long-suffering friends. Also, she used the word “harangue” to describe Ramona’s verbal fits. Kelly, you’re confusing me this season and I dare say I like it.
The only endearing moment of this whole catty hour involved my dear Gloria. At a photo shoot for their book, Jill got to wear a cocktail dress while her sister Lisa was stuck wearing one of Oprah’s old blazers from the ’80s. Sibling rivalry played out as Jill insisted her big stand with her hand on her hip and Lisa whined about being left out of a mother/daughter hug. Gloria, who disapproved of Jill’s tight dress, kept murmuring through frozen lips that she was displeased with the entire shoot. “Can you move that fan away from me,” she demanded at one point, “it’s blowing on my breasts.”
If Gloria had the most amusing line of the evening, surely Jill wins for most inauthentic. “I don’t care that you married a Count,” she lamely told LuAnn. “You were born a Countess.” Oh Jill, we’ve known each other for a while now. We’re not buying it.
What did you all think? Who behaved worse last night: Bethenny or Ramona? Did you think Alex’s tears were real? Do you want less baby talk between Bethenny and Jason? Do you two find yourself liking Kelly?