Image Credit: Giovanni Rufino/The CWOh Gossip Girl, you’re starting to scare me a little bit. One of my favorite shows on television has, of late, been about as exciting as popping a late-night Ambien. Someone needs to pick up the pace for the love. I mean last night’s entire episode was supposed to be about rebellion and sex and it just completely flatlined. I’ll always be a loyal viewers but last night’s episode really disappointed me. Anyone else feel the same way?

Little J had to make a big decision last night, and it wasn’t whether or not to wear black — that answer is always yes. Her big question was if she would do the deed with Damian or if she would hold onto her V card. But before the big bedroom scene we had some really blah moments that were supposed to evoke Jenny’s rebellion but just felt like a drag. There was just a noticeable lack of energy in this entire storyline probably because…they’ve done this storyline before. It was just last year that Jenny had her whole rebellion phase and started disappearing with her model pal Agnes (who looks to be popping up again next week). Rufus acting worried about Jenny just feels so last season. I’m all for Jenny being evil, but let’s kick it up a notch or at least have her do something that yields more exciting onscreen drama.

Do we think this means the end of Damian the drug dealer? I kinda hope not because the dude is awfully cute, but I guess we’ll have to wait and see. This episode did feature a couple shirtless scenes for both Kevin Zegers and Chace Crawford, so I guess it can’t be all bad. Those moments I really perked up and paid attention.

I frankly found Serena kind of annoying in this episode. She was just so unlikable with Nate. Dear Serena, you used to be kind of a ho… like, own up to it. Hello, you had sex on a bar — that is not exactly nun behavior. And I don’t really think Nate thinks of her that way. It just didn’t seem like a fight the pair would actually get into it. Also, these two a like two lil’ rabbits with their sexual escapades. Does Nate even go to Columbia anymore? Do any of these kids go to school anymore?

Also, do 18-year old girls really watch Dirty Dancing still? I feel like no, and I certainly don’t think an even younger lady like Little J would like it. Aren’t the kids all listening to Justin Bieber these days?

Well, we certainly know Dan and Vanessa still attend NYU or at least go to bad tropical-themed dorm parties. The pair ended up sleeping together, which did lead to one of the more amusing scenes of Dan trying to establish boundaries for their relationship. It is pretty funny/weird that Dan has dated both his almost-step-sister and his best friend who’s almost like a family member. The dude needs to date outside his immediate circle a little more. Or maybe not because that has led to Georgina and Olivia. I loooved Vanessa’s dress at the party for Bart, but I wish her hair was a little more fun. I know this makes me a party pooper, but: I don’t condone walkin’ around sans underwear. It just seems incredibly unsanitary and drafty. You never know when you might have to climb a ladder or ride off on a horse or a motorcycle. I mean there are tons of reasons that I just won’t get into.

Even Chuck’s storyline moved at a glacial pace. The whole sex scandal seemed weird right from the start, so it’s not surprising that it was a whole scam by Jack and Elizabeth. Is Elizabeth really Chuck’s mother or like some freak twin with the same DNA? Or maybe just some crazy lady who dummied up the test results? Either way, I wish the actress playing her, Laura Harring, popped a little more. She’s not femme fatale enough for me. I feel like Gina Gershon or someone a little more animated could have had fun with the role. Also what the eff is going on with Jack Bass’ hair? It was very Trump-esque last night. Jack did have the one line I laughed out loud at. Apologizing to Lily about the last time he saw her: “I’d had a lot to drink. Took some of those over-the-counter pills that they’ve started hiding behind the counter recently. And some meth.”

So something is wrong with Lily and that’s why she’s been seeking out her ex-husband? Interesting. What do we think is up with her?

What did you think of last night’s Gossip Girl? Were you bored? Am I being too hard on the show?

Episode Recaps

Gossip Girl

Spotted: Serena, Dan, Blair, Chuck, Vanessa, and Nate — hooking up, breaking up, and freaking out. You know you love it! XOXO!

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