The funniest TV lines from the week of Feb. 28

By EW Staff
March 12, 2010 at 05:00 AM EST

”Take it down a notch. We’re trying to make a friend, not initiate a three-way.” —Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson), to Cameron, who was over-complimenting their daughter’s pediatrician, on Modern Family

”Innocence should be lost in the bedroom, or on a commercial cruise liner.” —Barb (Carolyn Hennesy) on Cougar Town

”I can’t think of anything more frightening than a half-Polish, half-Arab virgin in his 30s. One way or the other, that story ends with an explosion.” —Pierce (Chevy Chase) on Community

”There’s more crazy news coming out of the auto industry. Today, Nissan recalled over a half million cars with faulty brakes and fuel gauges. Then Toyota was like, ‘Just a half million? Aww, that’s cute.”’ —Jimmy Fallon on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon

”I don’t want the first thing the baby hears to be the 8 Mile soundtrack.” —Pam (Jenna Fischer), about playing Jim’s iPod when their baby is born, on The Office