By Lesley Savage
Updated March 04, 2010 at 03:37 PM EST

Image Credit: Michael Desmond/ABC

I don’t know about you guys, but I really missed my Family these past two weeks, and this episode was the perfect welcome back. It kept things in the family, no cameos, no big stunts, just each member doing what they do best. And it started off with a bang — with everyone stating what his or her greatest fears were. My favorites:

Alex’s: “Global warming. And getting a B.” (In my opinion, this was one of Alex’s funnier episodes. Her snarky comments really had bite.)

Mitchell’s: “Hotel bedspreads.” Especially following Cameron’s heartfelt fear of losing Mitchell.

Haley’s: “Never getting my driver’s license, or getting one and the picture sucks.” Always so awesomely shallow.

And, of course, Manny’s: “Dying alone. ” ’nuff said.

The highlights of this episode for me were Phil and Luke’s goofy treasure hunt, especially when they were guessing what could be hidden under the house: “bugs frozen in amber, ” “really expensive bottles of wine,” “ancient Indian arrow heads.” Cameron and Mitchell’s hilariously awkward butt-kissing brunch with Lily’s pediatrician — I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, I could happily watch an entire episode with just the two of them. And last but not least, Claire’s painful dance moves in the DMV parking lot — did anyone else get flashbacks of Elaine from Seinfeld???

And now onto what you’ve all been waiting for, the best quotes of the evening.

“I understand about 20% of what goes on around here.” — Jay

“But go to dinner with him and wait for the check to come, then you’ll see fear in his eyes. It’s like the waiter’s a ghost.” — Jay, in response to Gloria’s statement that Manny’s father is not afraid of anything

“Take it down a notch, we’re trying to make a friend, not initiate a three-way.” – Mitchell to Cameron, who was over-complimenting their pediatrician

“Well, her first word was every gay father’s worst nightmare.” – Mitchell, after Lily calls her pediatrician Mommy

“He gets dizzy when they spin the chair at the barber shop.”– Jay, about Manny’s fear of roller coasters

“He comes from a long line of fishers and smugglers, but I encourage the fishing. ” -Gloria, about Manny

“The recipe is from the now-defunct Gourmet magazine. Why do all the things I love go away?” – Cam, after Lily calls her pediatrician Mommy

“We can’t ignore the giant panda in the room. ” – Cam (again) after Lily calls her Asian pediatrician Mommy

“Wake up old man, she’s trying to get me on the roller coaster. ” – Manny to Jay, about Gloria’s plot to get him on the roller coaster.

“I’m not man enough to fight this.” -Manny, about the roller coaster

“The only way she’ll be happy is if I’m some Asian stereotype, but that just isn’t me.” – Lily’s Asian pediatrician (and cut to her slamming into a garbage can and parked car while backing out of the driveway and exclaiming, “I didn’t see those”). Blatantly racist, yes, but still brilliantly funny.

So, did you miss these guys as much as I did? What were your favorite moments? Which quotes did I miss? And did Claire’s dance moves remind you of Elaine’s?

Episode Recaps

Modern Family

Parents just don’t understand… and neither do kids or spouses in this hit ensemble comedy

  • TV Show
  • 10
  • Wednesdays at 09:00 PM
  • In Season
  • ABC
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