February 12, 2010 at 07:00 PM EST

A Hero has fallen, ladies and gentlemen. Slain not by a villain, nor by a Dragon Slayer, but by her own inability to assimilate into her merry band of fellow Heroes. I speak, of course, of Jessica “Sugar” Kiper, who was the first contestant voted out of Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains. She may be gone, but she’s not forgotten, giving us indelible images to last a lifetime: the tears, the rabid nighttime pursuit of Colby, the…. Hmmm, there’s something else. I just can’t quite remember. What was that other indelible image? Oh, right. Flipping people off while topless! Sugar called this morning to talk all about her Samoan misadventures.

You promised me you weren’t going to cry this time. What happened?

A promise is a promise and I’m sorry but I cannot help my emotion.

It felt like old times!

Wouldn’t you cry if you were about to have your head cut off?

Let’s talk about your big topless scene. First off, was Sandra trying to undo your bra or did it just come undone in the, ahem, heat of the moment?

Unless we were making love, no. She totally undid it, and I literally said, “Don’t undo my bra, bitch!” I remember thinking, she thinks I’m going to put my bra back on and that she’s got me and just has to worry about them. So I was like, roll out of it, grab the bag and make the point. So that’s what I did because I wanted to prove that I was trying to win this time — that I was going to do my damndest in the challenges to prove myself. I thought that would work.

Who exactly were you flipping off? Sandra? All the Villains? Jeff Probst?

I was looking at everybody. It was supposed to be toward Sandra, but I was kinda shooting everybody off. [Laughs] Yeah, I was totally flipping off Jeff. He knows it and he knows why.

So the situation with Colby: They really made you out to be a stalker in that scene.

They want to make me look like Jerri No. 2. That’s fine with me. Yeah, that was like five seconds out of three days that I was there. That’s cool. I don’t mind my edit.

What was going on with the puzzle in the immunity challenge? All four of you were in there, and it looked like chaos. Who was supposed to be leading that?

Nobody was speaking up at all. The two lines they got out of me, I don’t even know how they pulled that out because most of the time I was searching the bag and the ground and trying to find the puzzle piece we must have dropped. It was totally not that close at all. They were miles ahead of us at the puzzle part.

When I visited you guys at your camp I remember thinking to myself that you didn’t seem to be jelling and fitting in with the others so well. You definitely appeared to be a bit of an outsider in that group. Did you feel that way?

Yeah, of course I did. I felt like an outsider from the beginning. I was DOA. I was like “How the hell am I going to do this?” I was shaking in my boots from the beginning. You know, someone has to be the first out and I figured I might be that person, because after a minute out there I decided I do not want to be out there. It was pretty awful. Every 20 minutes, raining. I already thought I had lost my mind on day three so if I had been out there any longer, I would have hated it.

And yet at Tribal Council, you still thought the play was Amanda and that you were probably going to be safe.

Yeah, you’re right, because they don’t show everybody lying to me. I did think there was a chance that I might be staying for at least another round. But when Stephenie looks at me and says about “the weakest player” and winks, I was like “Oh, I guess I should put my shoes on.”

You made it all the way to the end in Gabon, and were pretty much DOA from the start in Heroes vs. Villains. So what if they came to you and asked you to come back for a third time? What do you say?

Uhhhhh, no. You gonna pay me a lot more or give me a little bonus? I think my Survivor career is over.

Check out the pep-talk Sugar recorded for herself before the game in the event she got voted out, as well as a deleted scene and Jeff Probst right after Tribal Council predicting who will get voted off next, all in the video player below. And follow me on Twitter: @EWDaltonRoss.

More Survivor:

Read the full Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains premiere recap

Check out Jeff Probt’s blog of the premiere episode

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