The American Idol producers love to show useless, attention-mongering “contestants” with zero talent. It’s become one of the staples of the audition shows, one that often produces the sensation of a staple coming undone, thus sending one’s stomach lining shooting all over one’s body cavity. These contestants are 100% pure pain. We put up with them because THE SHOW WILL NOT STOP GIVING THEM SCREENTIME. Last night, we saw only seven of Denver’s 26 Golden Ticket auditions. “Bikini Boy” Ty Hemmerling, who works at Denver’s country music radio station The Wolf as an “intern stunt guy”-turned production staffer was not one of those seven. In an interview with Denver’s WestWorld news blog, Bikini Boy complains about having to sit around in his girlfriend’s swimsuit for three whole days and has offered the nation his services in the competitive field of popping out of cakes. The kid has really hit it big.

Anyway, the judges all walked out on Bikini Boy before he could even “sing” a song. (Bikini Boy says the part where fellow bikini enthusiast Kara DioGuardi “asked if mine were real and if she could touch them” was edited out.) Gross display of human indecency or clever little plot twist? You decide! And be sure to read about the kids-with-kids who could actually sing in Michael Slezak’s full TV Watch recap.

Annie on Twitter: @EWAnnieBarrett