TV's funniest lines for the week of Jan. 18, 2010

By EW Staff
Updated January 29, 2010 at 05:00 AM EST

”This whole experience has been so surreal. I never thought I’d be jealous of the long, illustrious run that NBC gave Joey.” —Conan O’Brien on The Tonight Show

”What we did was totally natural — like the wind, or not trusting Canadians.” —Laurie (Busy Philipps), after having sex with Grayson, on Cougar Town

”For a dude that has the most hilarious last name I’ve ever heard, you blow!” —Tracy (Tracy Morgan), to a man dressed as John Hancock during a historic tour of Boston, on 30 Rock

”True, Mariah, but you can’t nurse a child with your shoulders. Heidi Montag can, but that’s just because it’s where the doctor reset her nipples.” —Danielle Fishel, on Mariah Carey’s claim that her dress was conservative because you couldn’t see her shoulder, on The Dish

”When you look in the mirror and see your push-up bra, your fake eyelashes, and your makeup and your press-on nails — the principles that I am applying to the office are the same ones that have made Lady Gaga a star. Or any number of drag queens.”—Michael Scott (Steve Carell) on The Office