'Idolatry': Sexy ladies wail, sappy stories fail, and Joe Jonas trumps Neil Patrick Harris (what?!) this week on 'American Idol'

Week three of American Idol‘s ninth season fell into a thoroughly predictable groove: Contestants whose auditions were gussied up with 10 lbs. of backstory sailed through to Hollywood; the guest judges who everyone expected to be whip-smart and amusing (hi, Neil Patrick Harris!) lived up to their billing; and Simon Cowell got hot and bothered whenever a sexy chica appeared on the scene. To counterbalance this unwavering absence of capriciousness on the nation’s favorite talent program, we here at Idolatry decided it was time to get krazy with a k. Press play below and watch a former Idol champ (and upcoming Idolatry interview subject) provide a jaunty intro while rocking a jewel tone with surprising panache, hear a second Idol finalist close the show by weighing in on EW.com personnel issues, listen to my cohost Kristen Baldwin drop an f-bomb (bleeped for your delicate ears) within the episode’s first 30 seconds, and gasp as yours truly waves an imaginary gun in the air and utters the phrase “bust a cap.” I know, I know, I’m going to live to regret it all after I get a strongly worded email from my mom, but Damien Idoloonies, it’s all for you! When you’re done watching, share your thoughts on the week in Idol in the comments section below, check out my recaps of the Los Angeles and Dallas telecasts, and follow me on Twitter @EWMichaelSlezak!