''Idiots are fun; no wonder every village wants one.'' Dr. Gregory House (Hugh Laurie), House Submitted by bono
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Two weeks ago, we got the best episode in years. Last week, we got 24. This week, well… I wish it had been one of those other two. “Remorse” fell flat, pushing its patient story a little too hard while relying on Foreteen “drama” and Cuddy tension to carry the serial parts of the story. Talk about playing to your weaknesses.

Our Patient of the Week was a tough-as-nails businesswoman who turned out to be a stone-cold psychopath, whose brain was unable to process feelings. Hence being married to an uggo! (Who was totally not bad-looking! Have Charlotte and Harry taught us nothing?) She also got under Thirteen’s skin, but lo and behold, it was Thirteen’s maverick ways that eventually saved the day. You, Psychobusinesslady, are no Dexter.

On the home front, House was confronting a classmate from medical school whom he had wronged back in the day — and had extended an apology to as part of his therapy. Remember the therapy? I barely do. I guess that’s to be expected, what with this show’s central theme about the utter stasis of all creatures, but I wish the show would either stick with the idea that House is in some way seeking rehabilitation or abandon it completely.

Wilson acted surprised that House was vaguely making amends with his former classmate. Why not apologize to him? To Cuddy? Wilson’s incredulity seemed incredibly false to me: Why would he expect for a second that House would really give Cuddy a meaningful apology? Does he not watch the same show we do?

“House, she was in love with you, and all she got in return was abuse,” he chides his BFF. Two things strike me about this statement: One, look in the damn mirror, Wilson, and heal thyself. Two, for a statement that was supposed to make House look bad, all it really did was emphasize the black hole where Cuddy’s self-worth is supposed to go. “For years you toyed with her emotions,” Wilson scolded, but he didn’t quite get it right: It should have been “for years she let you toy with her emotions.” I’m usually on-board with the House/Cuddy love — Hugh Laurie and Lisa Edelstein might as well be setting things on fire when they’re in scenes together. But something about Cuddy’s chronic emotional victimhood makes the pairing so wrong on some levels.

Some stray thoughts:

++ Foreteen? More like Boreteen, amirite?! But seriously, folks: No more Foreteen.

++ There were two excellent gross-out moments from “Remorse,” first when Thirteen accidentally broke Pyschobusniesswoman’s arm and then when PBW was drooling blood. Ayee!

++ The whole “love is manipulation/what is real/it felt real/our brains trick us” story has been done on this show before. Bo-ring.

Line of the night? No contest. The perfect House smackdown of grumpy Thirteen: “Tell me about it! Some of my coworkers will insult people right to their faces!”

What did you think, PopWatchers? Are you still rooting for House and Cuddy, and do you loathe the drawn-out nonsense of Foreman and Thirteen? Or did “Remorse” leave you feeling none?

Image credit: Mike Yarish/Fox

Episode Recaps

''Idiots are fun; no wonder every village wants one.'' Dr. Gregory House (Hugh Laurie), House Submitted by bono
Hugh Laurie and Lisa Edelstein star in the hit medical mystery series
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