It’s a bad sign when you don’t even need the fingers on one hand to count the number of truly talented contestants on an American Idol tryout show. Yet while tonight’s Chicago audition episode was to talent what Randy Jackson is to coherent critique, the hour was miraculously rescued by a secret weapon that made everything go down a little easier: Guest judge Shania Twain. In fact, I enjoyed the country superstar’s performance in the Paula Abdul Faded Glory Chair so much, I wrote a tribute song to her, set to the tune of her 1998 hit “That Don’t Impress Me Much.” Click here to get some musical accompaniment, then sing along at home!

I listened to some guys tonight who thought they could sing

Watched Randy and Simon bust up laughing

Well Kara’s no genius — with her “sweetie” refrain

She condescends reflexively, she’s ultra hein

Oh-oh but, Shania’s special

Oh-oh yeah, I think she’s something else

Okay, so she’s a chalet owner

Ms. Twain impressed me much

Yes she had the brains, and had a gentle touch

Hire her quick, yeah a permanent seat

And send the Dawg and Dio-Gwarrd back onto the streets

Ms. Twain impressed me much

What did you think of Shania’s performance? Did any of the contestants impress you tonight? Post your thoughts now, then click over for my full American Idol in Chicago TV Watch recap! And to get updates on all my Idol ramblings, follow me on Twitter @EWMichaelSlezak. (Oh, and if you missed it, check out my recap of the Atlanta audition episode, and vote for your favorite on my list of the Top 20 Idol Contenders from Boston and Atlanta.)