TV's funniest lines for the week of Jan. 4, 2010

”I like ‘queen bitch’ — it makes me sound like leader of the gays!” — Dr. Evans (Lisa Kudrow), after Jules calls her ”queen bitch,” on Cougar Town

”She actually thinks Emporio Armani and Giorgio Armani are brothers! Ha!” — Marc (Michael Urie), about Mode’s clueless new creative director, on Ugly Betty

”No one hanging from a pole should know your name!” — Susan (Teri Hatcher), to Mike, after finding out that he frequents a strip club, on Desperate Housewives

”Somebody’s gotta teach her how to fight, or duck.” — Pauly D, after his roommate Snooki is hit in the face for a second time, on Jersey Shore

”I’m sorry, Barney. I couldn’t make it work.” — Tim Gunn, playing Barney’s personal tailor, on How I Met Your Mother