'The Tonight Show': Ricky Gervais tells Conan O'Brien, 'You're going nowhere'

By Annie Barrett Updated January 14, 2010 at 02:19 PM EST

On last night’s The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien, which airs on [three xylophone notes], Ricky Gervais stopped by and insisted on “plugging his stuff” right away, should the network decide they’d had it with him sooner than expected, too. Then Gervais explained to Conan how bleak Conan’s career options are at this point, because he really has no discernible skills. Gervais pitied him, “like a parent. I still love you, but you’re going nowhere.” Conan’s only idea was that he could be a lifeguard, and while we fondly remember from those Baywatch-y Tonight Show promos that he can run like the wind with shellacked-into-place hair in a fancy suit, Gervais makes a good point in that if Conan ever had to remove his TV hosting uniform, translucent hips could sink ships. Watch part 1 below, and there are THREE OTHER PARTS! of the Golden Globes 2010 host’s interview over at NBC.com.