Credit: Jeff Gross/Getty Images

I am puzzled that people are calling this thing that stormed the field during last night’s BCS National Championship football game “The BCS Streaker.” Streakers do not wear clothes. Ceci n’est pas un streaker. This being has an upper body sheathed in a gold leotard with a URL on the back, an ass encased in shiny undies advertising the existence of Howard Stern, and a mask. If his idol is Goldust from WWE, he has also failed there. This is a lame superhero outfit and should not be associated with streaker culture. Couldn’t he have grease painted the name of a website on his probably-also-waxed torso? It all smacks of the pending apocalypse. This being has brought shame to the streaker community. That’s probably why ABC has disabled all video evidence of his adventure.

Oh, how our ‘streaker’ standards have fallen. Raise your hand if you’d call this a streaker. Get ready to be sacked!

Image credit: Jeff Gross/Getty Images