'Iron Chef America': It's Michelle Obama! (For about two minutes, anyway...)

At the beginning of last night’s two-hour “Super Chef Battle” drool fest, Michelle Obama (pictured, with host Alton Brown and Iron Chef Mario Batali) offered the contestants — Batali and his special celebrity partner Emeril Lagasse vs. Iron Chef Bobby Flay and White House executive chef Cristeta Comerford — the use of anything in the White House garden. All items produced by the White House Garden brim with nutrients and magic and sprout up in rich color combos that inspire hope, change, and Michelle Obama’s outfits.

After all of Food Network’s breathless Obama promos, I was hoping for the First Lady to sample some of the dishes. I also would have enjoyed some outdoor BBQ action on White House grounds. What could possibly be more sacred and patriotic than Iron Chef America? Maybe the Prez could have jogged over for some late-morning sweet carrot beignets with Cafe Brulot and a nation would gasp as he gently shook his white paper bag to evenly disperse the extra powdered sugar and cinnamon. Maybe the Orange (Coral) Bistro Mario Batali Edition Crocs could freak out First Dog Bo a little until the iron chef stunned him into submission with a bone he hand-carved out of a white icicle radish. I thought at least Michelle’s favorite garden gnome Elmo would pop up to suggest that adding fresh White House turnip pickles to an otherwise routine bloody mary sure would make his tummy smile. Whatever. Maybe I’m just bitter because it was right as I settled in to watch the show that I realized I had spilled a bottle of overpriced airport water all over the turkey sandwich my mom made me to eat on the plane. (Fried turkey stuffed with braised greens seems so much crueler when the only real food option you’re left with is holiday M&Ms. What a tough life.)

Were you hoping for some more White House action in last night’s Iron Chef? And were you happy to see Emeril lay his hands on food again?