Nearly nine years ago, I rang in my 16th birthday by blowing out five candles stuck in a single banana. (Eat your heart out, MTV.) Well, I shouldn’t continue bemoaning my lonely sweet 16, because today, someone is likely having a far worse birthday than I could ever imagine: the celebrity philanderer of the moment, Tiger Woods.

But as we celebrate (or not) the golfer’s 34th birthday, we are reminded of others in pop culture who had terrible, lonely birthdays. Take Sixteen Candles‘ Sam Baker, who had to cope with a memory-plagued, frantic family before dreamy Jake Ryan finally saved the day. So don’t get too down, Tiger. At least a nerdy freshman didn’t steal your underpants.

What was your worst birthday ever, PopWatchers? Favorite birthday moment in film?