Inside the Final Four: Comparing 'Rock of Love' and 'Say Yes to the Dress'

Our Guilty Pleasures Reality TV Showdown moves into the Final Four, so we’re analyzing the matchups in the finals (see full bracket here).

Today, we look at the strengths and weaknesses of Rock of Love vs. Say Yes to the Dress.

STAR PLAYERS

Rock of Love: Bret Michaels

Say Yes to the Dress: Randy, Claudia, Keisha, Audrey

Advantage: Rock of Love

CHEESE FACTOR

Rock of Love: The whole enterprise is about a former hair band singer looking for love whilst modeling various bandanas in his hair. 100% Cheese.

Say Yes to the Dress: Brides ooh-ing and aah-ing about dresses, air-kissing sales associates, gushing about perfect grooms.

Advantage: Rock of Love

FANS

Rock of Love: Many, many women love Bret Michaels. One such lady left a comment during earlier rounds about how she’d like to lick his chest. Clearly, this is a special kind of devotion.

Say Yes to the Dress: An unscientific poll shows that lots of women, married or single, like to look at expensive frocks and the strange people who sell and buy them. If EW staffers are any indication, this show is popular with moms of a certain age. And I personally have become so enamored with the show that it’s a must-DVR.

Advantage: Rock of Love (As much as I love SYTTD, nobody is sitting at home right now wanting to chest-lick Randy)

SO-HORRIBLE-YOU-CAN’T LOOK AWAY-NESS

Rock of Love: Tequila shots taken from intimate body parts. Butter rubs. Stroller derby.

Say Yes to the Dress: Someone about to spend their entire life’s savings (plus a new mortgage) on some slutty see-through lace creation. Moms telling their adult daughters how to live their lives. Slapping in the alterations.

Advantage: Rock of Love

AMOUNT OF “REALITY”

Rock of Love: A bus full of groupies? Finding true love on TV? Not going to happen.

Say Yes to the Dress: Some of these brides do wear their Kleinfeld’s gowns down the aisle so that’s reality enough for us. And you can’t fake bridesmaids this bitchy.

Advantage: Say Yes to the Dress

Tomorrow, we examine Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica vs. Wipeout. Come back to vote for your favorite starting Jan. 4.

Photo Credits: VH1; TLC