A Christmas Story, Peter Billingsley
Credit: Moore: Danny Feld/CBS

Thank goodness that despite all the suckage 2009 has wrought, one thing remains dependable in this godforsaken world: Cable marathons on Christmas. Yes, the holidays once again bring us the greatest gift of all, hit after hit of addictive movies to watch instead of actually sharing the spirit of the season with other human beings.

The beauty of the movie marathon is that you don’t even have to look at a schedule to know when you have to turn on the TV to catch the likes of A Christmas Story and Night at the Museum — because they’ll be playing on endless loop on TBS and FX respectively. (Though the true beauty of the movie marathon actually goes beyond that — it means you can watch A Christmas Story over and over throughout the day. You know you want to.) Fox Movie Channel will run Home Alone; AMC will repeat National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation; Spike TV’s got Bad Santa.

As for TV show marathons, A&E will help to make the season bright with, um, Criminal Minds. MTV — the master of the guilty-pleasure vortex — will suck viewers in with Parental Control and Teen Mom. VH1 and CNBC, meanwhile,will induce seasonally appropriate guilt with Celebrity Fit Club and ‘Til Debt Do Us Part.

So, PopWatchers, which of these marathons will you be unwrapping for Christmas Day?

Photo Credit: Criminal Minds: Danny Feld/CBS