In Frozen, out February 5, three college students get stuck on a chairlift as creatures and possibly sparkly teenage vampires howl at them from the forest. Based on the just-released trailer, below, the film is like 2003’s Open Water re-imagined as Precarious Suspended Bench. Or, as the trailer boasts, it’ll “do for skiing what Jaws did for swimming.” Wait, what? People want that? PopWatchers, press play and tell me if you want that.

The basic message I got from that trailer is that that pink lady should probably have considered gloves. Also: If you were thinking about going skiing this winter, you’ll probably want to stay home and seek thrills by driving your car to the movie theater instead. Yeah! In your face, 30 million losers who enjoy skiing and snowboarding in the U.S.!