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In my next life, I want to be Stephen Colbert. In addition to his many other career achievements, he’s a personal hero of mine for hexing Larry David, telling a sitting president that he essentially had no clothes, and being knighted by the queen of Jordan (with Aragorn’s sword, no less). But last night, he raised the bar — and the roof. His duet with Alicia Keys was both hilarious and somewhat legit.

Johnny Carson may have sung a bar with Bette Midler once, but what late-night-show host has the sack to take Jay-Z’s mic and rap “Empire State of Mind”? True, I already knew he could rhyme, but I simply can’t shake the Colbert-ian lyrics: “Shopping mall is close, my community is gated; my shorties are all private-school educated…M&M Store, Disney Store, I’m in heaven; I own this town from 41st to 47.”

For me, this performance was even a great Christmas gift than last’s year’s duet with Elvis Costello. Did you watch Colbert last night? What was your favorite rhyme?

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