Which good Americans watched Better Off Ted last night? I want to see hands.

Ted’s daughter Rose, while at company day-care, started hearing rumors of employee firings — or as Veronica put it, “another round of down-sizing. There’s blood on the cheap industrial carpets.” Veronica starts pumping little Rose for the latest rumors she hears from the kids of employees. Why? Because in a neat twist on Veronica’s usual disregard for any human other than herself, she wants to save their jobs, because the firings “makes me look weak, like my people are expendable.”

I take it back — that was completely in keeping with Veronica’s usual disregard for any human other than herself.

Meanwhile, Lem gave in to some urges with one of the company’s lawyers:

And last night, Ted revived last season’s subplot about Linda wanting to write a children’s book. Except the cute little animal character she’d drawn, a lemur, looked like Phil, and Linda feared that Veridian would claim it owned the intellectual-property rights to anything inspired by the company — which in this case was Phil.

If Joseph Heller and J.D. Salinger were alive, they’d love Better Off Ted‘s mixture of prolix corporate satire, its critique e of phony benevolence. Oh, wait: J.D. Salinger is still alive.

J.D., did you watch Ted last night? I want to see a bony hand, please.

I leave you with Ted’s deathless line — “Hmm; tased flesh smells bacon-y” — and repeat:

Did you watch?