By Joseph Brannigan Lynch
December 11, 2009 at 08:11 PM EST

I thought my Chanukah wishes had been answered when I heard that Neil Diamond did a cover of Adam Sandler’s “The Chanukah Song.” Until I listened to it: ugh. Then things got worse. I saw the music video, done in slipshod Flash animation. Needless to say, there was wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Sandler’s song for a musically underrepresented holiday works because it’s fun and feels off-the-cuff. For some reason the Jewish Elvis though we needed a straight-faced, fist-pumping version of a novelty song. Well, this is the same Hebraic hero who—for some reason—has recorded three Christmas albums, so what do you expect?

There’s potential in this cartoon video for the song, and it’s criminally wasted. ‘Toon versions of David Lee Roth, The Fonz and Captain Kirk show up, but they don’t do anything other than smile/leer and raise their animated eyebrows.

Am I missing some secret subtext in this painfully vanilla cover? Or should we let this crazy Diamond shine on?

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