Was there a greater waste of time last night than Barbara Walters’ 10 Most Fascinating People of 2009? I had to watch because it’s my job, but jeez, what a superficial set of interviews. To cram 10-plus personalities in an hour (one entry, Michael Jackson’s children, technically increased the “fascinating” number), Walters gave us the shortest, least-informative interviews possible. No interviews with either Brett Favre or the Jackson offspring, in fact.

As for the rest, well, Lady Gaga said when asked about it, “I’ve certainly had sexual relationships with women, yes.” She also set herself up for future problems by doing one thing a celebrity should never do, especially now right after the Tiger Woods scandal: she said she wants to be a role model. “I aspire to be a teacher to my young fans… I want to free them from their own fears.”

Oh, just go back to wearing weird costumes and being “enigmatically” silent when not singing, please, Gaga?

With Sarah Palin, Walters recycled most of the quotes that aired in previous Walters “exclusives.” Walters addressed her as “governor” and called her a “special-needs poster mom.” Will Barbara please stop trying to force the role-model thing on people?

Tyler Perry said he was glad he was able to provide his mother with a house and a maid, two things she’s always wanted. Perry, who came closer than Glenn Back to actually crying in the time-honored Walters tradition, came across as a nice guy.

In a quote publicized days before this aired last night, Kate Gosselin said her kids “miss the camera crew.” Walters did not interview the camera crew to see if it missed Kate Gosselin.

Adam Lambert said, “I am a homosexual. Deal with it.”

First Lady Michelle Obama said she works out to achieve what Barbara kept calling “those arms.”

Glenn Beck said, “We’re not having real debates” in this country, and that he wanted his kids to know that “your father stood up for what he believed, and if that makes you enemy number-one, then we’re lost in America.”


In fact, to this entire hour, I give a big…


Did you watch this thing?