File under “this is happening?!”: New Line has signed on for an “action-adventure” reimagining of The Nutcracker. I’m picturing an explosion/chase sequence set to the “Waltz of the Flowers.” Perhaps the tagline can be “aw, nutz!” Or maybe something about shoe-throwing. I just really hope I hope this turns into a balls-out Michael Bay-meets-George-Balanchine festival of the insane.

Writer Darren Lemke, who wrote the upcoming Jack the Giant Killer and Shrek Forever, told The Hollywood Reporter: “I like the classic stories, but only if you can find a way to embrace them, without betraying them, and tell the tale with a forward thrust, making them feel modern.”

I’m guessing it’ll be based more on the book than the ballet, but presumably the vile Mouse King will still be present. Whom shall we cast as the Sugar Plum Fairy? And who can credibly wrangle an army of vermin?