'Ugly Betty' Bites: The 18 funniest lines from last night!
As all you regular Ugly Betty Bites readers know, I’ve been absolutely loving Ugly Betty lately. And last night’s episode is getting just as much love from me—the Mode staff’s trip to the Bahamas was fabulous and fun! Lots of it left me looking just as stunned as Marc and Amanda do in the photo above. Especially that amazing sequence where the camera panned through the bedrooms of all the couples that had hooked up at the end of the episode. I won’t spoil it for those of you who haven’t watched yet, but just know the whole thing was super, super good.
And I loved Shakira’s appearance, too! She’s so cute and flirty, and the music of hers that the producers used was well picked. But, we’re here for the best bites of the night—not to debate the merits of Shakira! So here were my favorite one-liners from the episode:
“Unitards don’t really scream sexy. More like 1970s magician.” —Daniel, after Betty presents a feature idea focused around unitard swimsuits
“This will be my last shoot at Mode. I’ve told you many times before that people will die at my hands if things are not perfect. And this time, I ain’t playin’.” —Willy, while planning her last photo shoot in the Bahamas
“Do I look like a girl?” —Willy, after Marc suggests that they talk about her recent issues like girlfriends
“One of the only c-words in the English language never used to describe you. The other one’s ‘cuddly.’” —Marc, after Willy asserts that she is not “cheap”
“Try to get her picture on one of those ‘I Lost Me to Meth’ billboards.” —Willy, giving Marc instructions about how to take down her competition for the editor-in-chief position of Isabella
“Amanda is going to the Bahamas? Hmm, I wonder what she’s going to do there. I guess she could not answer the phones at Atlantis as well as she does here.” —Betty, in a moment of bitchery about her co-worker and former roommate, Amanda
“OK, but only because you have sturdy legs, and I’m in heels today.” —Marc, agreeing to tell Betty a secret so she won’t chase him around for the rest of the day
“My Photoshop life is so much better than my real one.” —Justin, after revealing a photo album he made showing his fictional life with idol Shakira
“If anyone tells you there’s something called ‘Island Time,’ drown them with their daiquiri and poke their eyes out with the umbrella.” —Willy, to Betty, upon their arrival in the Bahamas
“I’m sensing a personal life here. Stop it, immediately. I need your giant head in the game.” —Willy, to Betty, who’s assisting her at the Bahamas photo shoot
“And this one doesn’t know what it wants to be. It’s the Anne Heche of swimwear.” —Willy, on a swimsuit that seems to straddle the line between two styles
“Is it so much to ask for a little meaningless vacation sex? But little known fact: There are no gay people in the Bahamas. I have scoured the gym, the spa, the private beach—not a waxed chest or a condescending attitude to be found. This is the worst gay-cation of all time!” —Marc, bitching to Daniel about his crummy vacation
“Justin would sooner leave me in a ditch than leave a Playbill anywhere.” —Hilda, to Bobby, who showed up at her door with the excuse that Justin had left a Playbill in his car when he’d really stopped by to see Hilda
“Betty, Betty, Betty, take the stick out! Everything will be taken care of.” —Willy, finally embracing “Island Time” after discovering that Connor was in the Bahamas and still alive
“Well, I am on board—and on the pill.” —Amanda, while on a date with Matt
“I’ve seen my future, and it’s needlepoint and double-A batteries in bulk.” —Amanda, complaining after letting Matt go back to Betty
“I wear less than this on a ski slope.” —Shakira, while wearing a unitard Betty gave her during the improvised Bahamas photo shoot
“I can write my own ticket at Mode, which means you still have your job. And you got your boy shorts in a wad for nothing!” —Willy, to Marc, after she “saved” the day by tipping authorities off to Connor’s whereabouts
And, now to you, Ugly Betty fans: Which quips were your faves from last night? Which did I miss that you loved? What’d you think of the episode overall? Can Ugly Betty—which sadly just drew 3.4 million viewers last week—be saved from the axe?
More ‘Ugly Betty’ Bites from EW.com: