Mariah Carey
Credit: Markus Klinko & Indrani

I love a diva. So when I saw that Fuse was doing a special titled Top 20 Divas earlier this evening at 6 p.m., I immediately set my DVR to record. Truly, I had no idea what I was getting into: Would this be a video countdown with commentary? A VH1-style special that features talking heads—and sometimes the divas themselves—discussing what makes these Top 20 divas so damned special? A mix of the two?

Well, come to find out, it was just literally 20 videos from divas. But, honestly, it was one of the weirdest countdowns I’ve ever seen. To start with, let’s take a look at the show’s Top 20:

20. Taylor Swift, “Love Story”

19. Kelly Clarkson, “Since U Been Gone”

18. Katy Perry, “Waking Up in Vegas”

17. Keri Hilson featuring Kanye West & Ne-Yo, “Knock You Down”

16. P!nk, “Funhouse”

15. Alicia Keys, “No One”

14. Gwen Stefani, “Hollaback Girl”

13. Nelly Furtado, “Maneater”

12. Ciara featuring Chamillionaire, “Get Up”

11. Pussycat Dolls featuring Busta Rhymes, “Don’t Cha”

10. Christina Aguilera, “Ain’t No Other Man”

9. Mary J. Blige, “No More Drama”

8. Fergie, “London Bridge”

7. Shakira featuring Lil’ Wayne, “Give It Up to Me”

6. Britney, “Womanizer”

5. Lady Gaga, “Bad Romance”

4. Rihanna, “Russian Roulette”

3. Madonna featuring Justin Timberlake and Timbaland, “Four Minutes”

2. Mariah Carey, “Obsessed”

1. Beyoncé, “Irreplacable”

To me, it doesn’t seem so much Top 20 Divas as just simply 20 Divas. I mean, look at the list: Does it make sense? What exactly are the parameters? You’ve got a Beyoncé classic from 2006, coupled with the just-released video for “Bad Romance” from Lady Gaga. What gives? This is the Top of what?

I searched Fuse’s website to see if I could make some sense out of how the videos for this particular special were chosen — viewer submissions and voting, possibly? All-time favorites? A tastemaker at Fuse’s personal selections? But alas, there was no explanation — and the special itself also didn’t outline anything.

Now, I’m not honestly suggesting that any of these songs and their videos are not wonderfully diva-tastic or unfit for some sort of diva countdown. But do they really all belong on this list together in this line-up? If it is indeed an all-time divas countdown, we’re missing some rather important ladies: Cher and Whitney, to name just a couple. And, if it were indeed an all-time list, sorry, Beyoncé — I love you to death — but “Irreplacable” wouldn’t land on top.

But if it’s trying to be a contemporary-type list, too, it also fails. You’ve got some recent hits with “Bad Romance” and “Obsessed,” but then it dips into much older territory with things like Mary J. Blige’s “No More Drama” (and honestly, that’s not even her most diva-ish song) and Gwen Stefani’s “Hollaback Girl.”

I suppose, however, that I should just revel in the fact that Fuse played two hours of delightful lady jams. I should just be happy with that. It made my Saturday evening, regardless of my kvetching here. If you’re interested in catching the countdown yourself, it’s on again this coming Thursday at 3 p.m.

But now I wanna know what you think: Do you agree that the list is a strange mash-up? Can you make any sense out of why these particular 20 videos were worthy of an actual countdown versus just a two-hour random playlist of videos? If you’ve got some thoughts — or want to tell me I’m totally crazy — leave your love/hate in the comments below.

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