TV's funniest lines from November 23 to November 29

”We are gonna save so much money by spending money.” — Laurie (Busy Philipps), about Black Friday sales, on Cougar Town

”You should see this list of baby essentials. When all is said and done, that single orgasm is going to cost me $450,000.” — Dad-to-be Zack (Jon Foster), realizing how expensive a baby is, on Accidentally on Purpose

”Don’t make me throw up on your face.” — Shambo, after being consoled by enemy Laura, on Survivor: Samoa

”We can’t give Luke a crossbow. He pokes himself in the eye every time he uses a straw!” — Gloria (Sofia Vergara), about her step-grandson, on Modern Family

”At the state dinner, the director of The Sixth Sense, M. Night Shyamalan, was one of the guests. Or was he?” — Conan O’Brien on The Tonight Show