TV's funniest lines from November 9 to November 15

”Now Hot Flash is just an insert, so you might have some staples in your face. Oh, but you’ve had that before.” — Claire (Judith Light), to Wilhelmina, on Ugly Betty

”You think this is hard? Try auditioning for Baywatch and being told they’re going in a different direction. That was hard.” — Sue (Jane Lynch) on Glee

”Michelle Obama was on Sesame Street today showing children how to plant their own healthy vegetable gardens. Then the kids said, ‘Screw the vegetables,’ and they barbecued Big Bird. ” — Conan O’Brien on The Tonight Show

”Yesterday, in a dramatic reversal, the American Medical Association recommended that marijuana be reclassified so it can be used in medicines. That means from now on, Tylenol is going to be amazzzing.” — Jimmy Fallon on Late Night