As we saw yesterday when Kristen Stewart stopped by Live with Regis and Kelly, nothing is more entertaining than watching an unapologetically clueless Regis Philbin discuss The Twilight Saga: New Moon. Reege did not disappoint when Robert Pattinson visited this morning. Some highlights:

* After Pattinson, who admitted he was running on fumes and screams of fans, said he'd been all over the world in the last two weeks ("Tokyo, Munich, Frankfurt…"), Philbin asked, "And do the young people there know you?" As the audience giggled at their crazy grandpa, Kelly stepped in to tell Regis, "It's huge. You don't understand." "I just read about it today," Philbin cracked. (Had he said yesterday, we might've believed him.)

* Pattinson explained that Edward is a bit of a defeatist. A seemingly intrigued Philbin responded, "No kidding. He's a vampire! What's wrong with him? He's got the upper tooth!" He then shot Pattinson a kind of "Ha! Ha!" pose and shouted "I don't care!" at the audience. Presumably, he meant that he doesn't care if no one laughed at that joke, not that he doesn't care about New Moon. Honestly, I prefer Regis' retro zingers to earnest hosts asking him why he thinks vampires are so hot right now. (Which, Regis also did: "Is it the drama, the tension, the biting?" Pattinson gave the same answer he gave David Letterman last night — he's still trying to figure it out himself.)

* At one point, Philbin tried to explore the plot of New Moon. "There's another character here, the Volturi. I don't like him," he said. Giggling, Pattinson informed him that the Volturi is a "them."

* Asked by Philbin if Edward is a "new vampire" in the sequel, Pattinson said Edward has metaphorically aged since he met Bella. He'd been the same for 50 or 60 years, but after meeting her, he changed. He's tortured, Ripa explained. Then, she asked, "Is it possible for a vampire to have a soul?" As she sat back proudly in her seat waiting for his response, Robert just said, "Wow…" Regis shouted, "Excuse me, when did you get so deep? Who are you, a scientist or something?"

* Clearly, Philbin hadn't watched Pattinson's earlier appearance on Today this morning, when Matt Lauer and Meredith Vieira made him walk outside to greet fans at 8 a.m. and speak to a girl who hijacked airtime so she could tell Pattinson about her friend feeding his Edward doll to a squirrel. Pattinson smiled until Vieira mercifully cut to commercial. He's good to his fans. Regis seemed surprised that Pattinson went into the studio audience to "spread some personality out there" when Live went to commercial between segments, and that Pattinson charmed the Twilight Moms in attendance. "They always claim to be Twilight Moms, and they always look too young," Rob said after Ripa pointed them out at the start of the interview. "Oh, is he smooth! Oh, does he know what he's doing!" Philbin said.

Going back to Pattinson's Today appearance, the show sat him down with Matt Lauer for a one-on-one. Lauer wanted to give him a chance to put some tabloid rumors to rest, but Pattinson was able to joke his way out of the only question anyone cares about: "You're dating a costar whose name rhymes with Tristan Blewart?" "Tristan Blewart," Pattinson said. "There was a Liston Hewitt last year. That would be true, yes." Lauer did get a few real answers during the chat. Asked how he handles the mania, Pattinson said, "I speak in an American accent when I'm talking to crowds, because it's so separate to my actual life. I mean, I still feel like I'm kinda acting. I think that's the way that I don't sort of go completely mad." Does he ever wish he could put the genie back in the bottle? "I had to change my teeth a little bit for the first movie. And that's the only regret I have. I was supposed to do this brace thing, and never wore the brace, and now I've kinda damaged my teeth permanently." Does he mind that Edward's not the focus of the sequel? No. He always thought New Moon was the most complex book and the most relatable Edward story line: "The more in love with someone you fall, the more you kind of lose control of the relationship and kind of attack and destroy it. I always thought that was interesting."

Are you still Team Edward? To find out if the film causes anyone to switch to Team Jacob, we'll be doing a post-opening weekend poll next week. Scientific! We know Ripa would approve. And Philbin's mind just exploded.

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