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Britney Spears

Britney and Beelzebub, sittin’ in a tree, T-W-E-E-T-I-N-G? Fine, word police, that’s one too many letters. But no—though she may believe in certain sexual combinations not implicitly approved by the Christian Coalition, la Brit is not, despite recent updates on her Twitter page, an actual minion of Satan.

She is, however, an unusually frequent victim of devilishly tech-savvy computer goblins; this is at least the third successful hacking of her official account in the past year, following last January’s unprompted gyno update (“Hi Yall! Brit Brit here, just wanted to update you all on the size of my vagina. Its about 4 feet wide with razor sharp teeth”) and a less hilarious incident in June announcing the pop star’s death.

Seriously, Britney is Down Under right now, but not that far, y’all; what’s a girl to do? As of now, her page has removed the offending tweets and posted the following message: “Britney’s twitter account was just hacked. The situation has been resolved and we apologize for any offense the hacker’s messages caused.”

But who do you think is responsible, dear readers? Some unknowable, nefarious internet overlords? Or perhaps the tragically de-Twerted Miley Cyrus?

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