The internet whispers and cryptic tweets have swirled for days, and now dude looks like he’s leavin‘ — for real. So what is Aerosmith without Steven Tyler? And where does The Onion get its special psychic powers?

According to guitarist Joe Perry, the search for a new frontman is already on as of yesterday, Twittery misspellings be damned: “aerosmith is positivly looking for a new singer to work with. You just can’t take 40 years of expiriance and throwitinthebin!”

With Steven officially off to explore the possibilities of Brand Tyler, that leaves one serious scarf-bejangled mic stand to fill. Granted, it’s well-trod path; rock radio stalwarts from Queen and Van Halen to Journey and more recently, Velvet Revolver, have infamously replaced deceased or departed frontmen, with varying, but seldom peak-matching levels of success.

Barring any Rock Star: INXS style reality-show shenanigans, that leaves a selection of known-quantity candidates. Could Stone Temple Pilots’ Scott Weiland, already a quick study on Jim Morrison and Axl Rose, learn how to Walk This Way? Does the Extreme-ly available Gary Cherone, he of the ever-so-brief Van Halen run, Dream On of Aero-stints? Or is Axl’s raspy growl in fact exactly What It Takes?

So many emotions swirling, dear readers, not all of them Sweet. But does anyone out there have the goods? And even if they do, do true ‘Smith fans want them? Or is it as Steven first sang 36(!) years ago: The past gone / It went by like dust to dawn…

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