Only five disco-ball-busting couples remain in season 9 of ABC’s Dancing With the Stars: (from left to right) Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson, Mya and Dmitry Chaplin, Kelly Osbourne and Louis van Intensité, Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough, and Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff. Vote for which pair you think most deserves to be in the final 3 at the bottom of this post. Here’s how I’d rank ’em as of right this second…

1. Donny Osmond Pros: More charming than expected, appeals to older viewers, name “Osmond” has led to final 3 in past. Cons: Insistence on old-guy story line (he’s only 51!) getting tired…as could his joints.

2. Mya Pros: Already dances like a pro — one of Our Pros, even! Cons: No real story arc or major technical progression over the season, hasn’t seemed to connect with audience.

3. Kelly Osbourne Pros: Real-est personality and best sense of humor, effective parents. Cons: Self-awareness not conducive to high-pressure situations involving steps ‘n’ sequins.

4. Joanna Krupa Pros: Judges love Derek, viewers love boobs. Cons: Body has tendency to match consistency of cooked linguine, other females in remaining couples also have boobs.

5. Aaron Carter Pros: Strong work ethic, plus I’m LOL-ing less and less as he’s announced as a “pop star” each week, but maybe that’s because I’m used to it. Cons: Emotional meltdown = imminent.

Photo credit: ABC

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Dancing With the Stars
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