1. In a daring move to make themselves even less likable, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag dress as Jon and Kate for Halloween.

2. Jon Gosselin releases statement saying he is committed to “making things right with [girlfriend] Hailey as well as [wife] Kate and especially my children.” (There are eight of them, as you may have heard.) “I ask you to please give me the opportunity to prove myself.” Prove himself as what? A devout man, apparently, as The New York Post reports that he will “reconnect with my deeper, more spiritual, more altruistic self” with counseling from Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, who used to minister to Michael Jackson.”

3. Kate went on Ellen DeGeneres’ show on Wednesday. The host asks her to examine the Halloween wig being sold that resembles Kate’s hairdo. Kate holds it as if she were handling a cobra disguised as a skunk. She talks so guardedly about how “some people” (i.e., Jon) don’t “choose their words wisely” in speaking to the press, that Ellen says, “I don’t know what you’re talking about… You’re speaking in code”:

You have to love Ellen.

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