Modern Family
Credit: Richard Cartwright/ABC
Mitch and Cam, Modern Family

Michael Slezak will be back next week with his regular Modern Family recap. But for this week’s episode, “Run For Your Wife,” we couldn’t leave you hanging without at least celebrating the show’s most hilarious lines. As with every week, I feel like there are so many that I could just cut and paste the entire script. But short of that, here are some of my personal faves:

“June 21, found a stick. June 22, that’s it.”– Luke, reading from his journal

“That’s it?” — Claire

“It was a really cool stick.” — Luke

“He’s right, it looked like a snake.” — Phil

“Am I driving him to school or is he riding his burro?” — Jay, about Manny’s poncho

“Why is our daughter dressed like Donna Summer?” — Mitchell, remarking on Lily’s outfit for Cameron’s latest photo shoot

“She is not Donna Summer, clearly she is Diana Ross from the RCA years. (To Lily) How is Daddy not seeing that?” — Cameron

“Phil, put on some pants.” — Claire, to a boxers-clad Phil

“C’mon, this covers up more than my bathing suit.” — Phil

“Don’t remind me.” — Claire

“I am fun! Remember breakfast for dinner last week? My idea.” — Mitchell

“Oh boy, and I was hoping we still had a few good years before the mind started to go,” Gloria after Jay repeated himself

“The other day, Claire was like, ‘You have to move your car, there’s no space in the garage for both of our cars.’ What she’s saying, you know, is that I should probably get a sports car.” — Phil demonstrating his special understanding of women

“Batman doesn’t get picked on and he wears a cape. A poncho is just a cape that goes all the way around.” — Gloria, defending Manny’s clothing choices

“Batman doesn’t get picked on because he’s a muscular genius. Manny can’t make it to the top bunk.” — Jay

“I’m half scared.” — Phil, responding to Claire’s taunt that she ran a half marathon

“You thought ‘ghetto fabulous’ might be medically relevant?” Mitchell responding to Cameron’s over-share at the doctor’s office

“How long are you going to beat yourself up over one mistake? Is this like the blond highlights all over again?” — Cameron, to Mitchell

“I can’t hear you, I’m cranking one of my mash-ups,” Phil continues his peer-enting speak

What were your other favorite lines? GPS in the park? Eating through the chocolate pie? Phil’s shoes designed by a doctor? The whole Pho discussion?

Photo Credit: Richard Cartwright/ABC

Episode Recaps

Mitch and Cam, Modern Family
Modern Family

Parents just don’t understand… and neither do kids or spouses in this hit ensemble comedy

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