Hilary Swank can play a troubled transsexual, no prob. And an underdog boxer? Piece of cake. But ask the two-time Oscar winner to play a parrot—like Ellen did today during a game of “Celebrity – Animal Edition”—and you get one of the more confusing, disturbing, just-plain-wrong performances I’ve ever seen. I’d describe it as a mix between a meth-addled dolphin and one of those poison-spitting dinosaurs from Jurassic Park, with just a dash of a District 9 prawn. Check out the clip, below.

So what’s the deal here? My guess: Swank probably got lost in the bird house at a zoo for six hours as child, crying her little eyes dry as the cruel birds mocked her cries for mama. Or maybe she just didn’t land a part in Paulie? Gotta be something. What are your theories, PopWatchers?