Credit: Patrick Harbron/ABC

ABC’s Ugly Betty may have moved to a new night, but you know what has stayed the same? The abundance of wonderful, quippy lines from the sweet dramedy. Last night, Ugly Betty premiered in its new Friday night home—and Betty premiered her new look as an associate features editor. Since the episode was two hours, there was an insane amount of great bites, which I just couldn’t help but share with you. (Just you wait—there are tons!) Here are some of my faves:

“Figure we got to break out the labels for your first day of high school. Can’t afford college now, but at least you’ll be styling!” —Hilda, about the Gucci shirt her son Justin is wearing to his first day of high school

“Morning! I come bearing dry cleaning—extra plastic for the landfills. Just like you like it.” —Marc, dropping dry cleaning off at his boss Willy’s apartment

“No, Marc, you can’t use my bathroom. No one uses my bathroom, not even me!” —Willy, during Marc’s visit to her apartment

“We will blow up that bridge when we get to it.” —Willy, after Marc asks what they’ll do if she gets fired from Mode

“I am an attractive, intelligent, confident associate features editor.” —Betty, on her first day as an editor at Mode, echoing the statement she made on her first day at the magazine three years before

“That’s adorable. You thought an associate editor would get her own office? I just wanna eat you up.” —Betty’s coworker and office mate, Megan

“Get away from me, you bloated troll.” —Amanda, after Marc caught her talking to Betty

“Wake up and smell the aromatherapy, Betty! Being an assistant is boot camp. Being an editor is war. You have your allies, you have your enemies. Oftentimes, you can’t tell which is which.” —Willy, giving advice to Betty in the steam room

“Oh, and malaria—really?! Like I would ever put disease-ridden poor people in the pages of this magazine.” —Willy, about Betty’s feature idea on malaria

“Well, I supposed I shouldn’t have tried to blackmail Claire. But in my defense, it’s hardly the worst thing I’ve done to the woman. Though she really is less of a woman, at this point, than something you use to scare crows or children.” —Willy, bad-mouthing her boss Claire while thinking that she’s going to get fired from Mode

“I’m sorry. All those facelifts must have affected your speech. What do you say?” —Willy, after Claire tells her that she wants her to stay on at Mode

“Betty’s waddling around here somewhere. Last I saw she was tossing carbs around the office with wild abandon!” —Marc, to Justin when he stops by Mode

“That’s a muffin! You can’t call a tape dispenser with a muffin!” —Marc, to Betty, who acts like she’s picking up Marc’s fake, avoiding phone call

“You take that back! I am beautiful!” —Amanda, after Marc calls her “brilliant”

“Oh Marc! You think this is my first extortion-slash-secret-takeover? Please!” —Willy, as she and Marc plot to get her back on top at Mode

“Well, first of all, I had fries last night, so they’ll be no lunch today.” —Marc, after Justin asks if he wants to get lunch

“Sorry, Betty, I’ll just aim for a cankle!” —Amanda, during the dream sequence when all of the Mode staff was hunting after Betty

“So I was at The Gates last night and that dad from Jon & Kate Plus 8 was there—I think his name is Ben. Anyway, he was totally hitting on me, of course. And P.S. Plus 8? More like Plus 4.” —Helen, talking to new BFF Amanda

“Um, Bloandre the Giant is over there. I think she wants to talk to you.” —Marc, to Amanda, about new Mode temp Helen

“Old people usually scare me because they remind me of death and all. But I like you. You’re like a giant, knobby shade tree.” —Amanda, to older new Mode temp Helen

“I can do you one better. I can take you to the closet, where we can steal clothes.” —Amanda, after new Mode temp Helen asks for directions to the place where she’s working

“I said ‘OK’! Don’t make me take it back because the sound of your voice is annoying me!” —Willy, to Betty, who’s pitching a feature on malaria

“I’m not worried. Someone will marry me. Or make me a part of their entourage. Oh, oh, or make a reality show about me! It’s all good.” —Helen, telling Amanda what she’s going to do with her life

“Mandi, we’ve discussed this. When your looks start to go, we are buying you new ones.” —Marc, to Amanda

“Punching out your employees? Even I know not to do that in public, Daniel!” —Willy, after Daniel clocks Matt

“You got a delivery while you were out. I signed for it, so I hope it’s nothing illegal.” —Betty’s office mate Megan

Betty-watching PopWatchers, I know I snagged most of the best bites from last night’s episode, but what did I miss? Which are your faves? What’d you think of the premiere?

More from

‘Ugly Betty’ premiere sneak peek: Betty channels Sydney Bristow!

Exclusive: ‘Ugly Betty’ hits the beach!

‘Ugly Betty’ exclusive: Jamie-Lynn Sigler replaces Betty!

Episode Recaps

Ugly Betty | ''Oh I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over your loud shirt.'' —Betty lashing out at Marc (Urie) for his constant insults, episode 3
Ugly Betty
  • TV Show
  • ABC
stream service