To continue The Simpsons‘ season-long celebration of its 20th anniversary, the show is inviting you (Yes, you!) to create a new Springfield character. But, please, don’t bother. I’ve been patiently waiting for this moment since the Poochie debacle, so if you think your pathetic scribblings have a prayer against my years of meticulous plotting, well, I can only offer a Nelson Muntz-esque, “Ha-haaaa!” Seriously. Game over.

But if you insist on wasting you time, you should know that your “pithy and funny” creation could appear next year in an episode with Coldplay’s Chris Martin. It’s up to you to determine the character’s name, age, appearance, occupation, and catchphrase. Executive producer Al Jean told the AP that my character — I mean, the winning character –could even pop up on the series again. Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh.

You have a week to come up with your also-ran creation, who will be humbled by my Duke Stormgasket, an unbalanced paparazzo who mistakes innocent public behavior for licentious money-making opportunities. His catch phrase…wait for it… “Show me the honey!” I know. Brilliant. I can feel it catching on.

Still, feel free to come up with something else. In fact, I’d like to hear about Duke’s competition. What would your Simpsons character be like?

Photo Credit: Fox

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