Law Abiding Citizen, surely one of the dumbest movie titles of 2009, has been killing me not-softly since Owen Gleiberman’s EW review of it went up Wednesday afternoon. It is taking everything I have right now to not go into the backend of our website and add a hyphen to every instance of Law Abiding Citizen. I can’t take it much longer. I’m thinking I will just need to let it go, though. This is me letting go. I don’t want to get fired over this. There is no hyphen in the title of the movie. Who am I to scurry around that musty old claptrap we call a “content tool” and add punctuation marks according to my whims? It would be disrespectful of a proper noun. The illiterate copywriters who decided on it might be offended. I will just sit here and not add a hyphen to the title all over our website. Around 3 p.m. I can probably duck out to the art store and buy some spray paint so I can draw hyphens on the subway posters instead. Should I use caret symbols? I don’t think the job demands it.

PERSONAL NOTEPAD SECTION: Law-Abiding Citizen. Law-Abiding Citizen. Ohhhhhhhhh that felt good. I’m fired.