Despite whispers floating around this past weekend that Zach Braff committed suicide, Scrubs fans will be happy to know that the actor is, on the contrary, alive and well. The nasty rumor was a mere practical joke started by New Jersey resident Chris Langanella, who created a fake CNN to document the hoax.

Laganella has since apologized for the low blow, saying he made the page to fool his Scrubs-loving friends. I’m not sure how being a fan of a TV show translates to fake-axing off its star using a doctored website, but what I do know is some people really have too much time on their hands.

But Laganella didn’t get off that easy. The actor responded via video to explain how he’d do the deed if he were going to commit suicide, point out the fake article’s inaccuracies and dis the guy for upsetting his mom. Zach Braff: 1. Chris Laganella: -1,000.

Check out Braff’s video response (and a special cameo at the end) below.