'90210' recap: Zipcode for splitsville
Breaking up was the thing to do on tonight’s 90210.
The headliner, of course, was the Adriana-Navid split, which was sad to watch. I know, I know, couples have to break up to keep things interesting on TV; but I felt for them. They were good for each other. She dropped it on him quickly, in the middle of dinner, which was at least more humane than sneaking around with Teddy. Navid, of course, took it hard — so hard, naturally, that he had to talk it out with the guys, like they do now usually about 15 minutes into any given episode. This time, the bro-bonding happened at Liam’s. Navid hugged Dixon, hard. He told and retold the breakup story: “I was like, ‘Maybe I’ll get the shrimp …’” (But what I was really wondering was: What is Liam building and hiding under that tarp? That’s starting to get to me.) Adriana took the other route, immediately texting Teddy to inform him she was single, and beaming when he texted back the ever-romantic: “So when R we hanging out?”
Jen was continuing to keep things cool with Ryan, though I hope this liaison leads us somewhere soon — God willing, to one of her diabolical schemes. (Though I worry this is just one of the writers’ ways of keeping Mr. Matthews vaguely occupied; the adult story lines haven’t caught up to the kids’ this season.) Granted, I did like when Eduardo called and she purred, “He needs to know I’m not always available to him.” Two birds! Now she’s not available to Eduardo, and Ryan’s intrigued/incensed/challenged. She’s a dating strategy genius.
In the dating strategy idiot category: Annie! So the guy who took naked pictures of you that got texted to the entire school wants to hang out. What do you say? Annie once again went and made herself stupidly available, falling for it when Sext Guy said of Jasper, “Guy’s a psycho. Pulled a knife on a guy last spring.” (Well, she’s an idiot, but we also know Sext Guy is going to end up being right. Right?) Annie started ducking Jasper, taking Sext Guy’s advice. Then she actually went out with Sext Guy — Jasper saw them and followed them, and wouldn’t you know it, saved her from being date raped by him. Then later we saw Jasper pull out a knife to scratch up Sext Guy’s car, so we know the knife isn’t a complete fabrication. As clichéd as the saved-from-date-rape bit was, I must admit I’m a little flummoxed as to where this is going now: Has Jasper been onto Annie the whole time, and is he leading up to exposing her as the one who killed his uncle? Is he making some kind of film verité work (remember last week?) with her in a starring role? Or is he just a weird stalkery guy? Or does he just really like Annie? (Unlikely, but possible.)
Kelly finally resurfaced to continue acting fluttery around Principal Wilson and avoiding his request to have lunch. (Am I the only one feeling like they might be heading toward phasing Mama Wilson out? She barely ever shows up, while he’s going out on the town with Ryan to be his “wingman” and drown his sorrows? And who were all those hot girls dying to get with Ryan at the bar if it weren’t for said wingman? He’s not that cute.) Kelly also showed up just in time to try to stop Silver from reconciling with their recovering alcoholic mom, Jackie, who now has breast cancer. Jackie wanted Silver to move back home, but Kelly reminded us that Silver is actually bipolar. Totally wiped that from my memory of last season — they’ve made these characters look and act so differently this year, I feel like that was some other show that got canceled.
Jen announced she’d no longer be living with little sister Naomi — “just while I figure out this divorce thing. … You don’t need me around spending all your money and bringing you down.” Then she concocted some sort of scheme that involves her buying one of Eduardo’s horses — I don’t trust it. But I prefer her manipulating people to get money, so this better go somewhere hideous fast.
And, finally, Adriana realized she’d made a terrible mistake dumping Navid. Just minutes after she was kissing Teddy (to an old-timey Cranberries song, presumably for the original 90210 fans watching) on the beach, he was saying, “Relationships just aren’t my thing.” Ouch. Later, Navid, of course, went to his good buddy Teddy for advice about Adriana, and guess what! Secrets aren’t his thing, either, because he spilled about making out with Ade. So even though Naomi talked Adriana into trying to win Navid back – “it’s Navid, not George Clooney” — Navid was having none of it. Awww.
What did you think? Are you happy or sad to see Adriana and Navid split up? What’s Jen up to this time? More importantly, what’s Jasper up to?