Simon Cowell (along with his fellow X-Factor judges) is getting his own cologne, and my guess is it’s going to smell like new money, chest hair, and the Righteous Brothers’ “Unchained Melody.” Granted, the man has managed to get America to go bananas for Leona Lewis and Susan Boyle, but those products have some commercial viability all their own. A Cowell fragrance? I’m not so sure we’re ready for that jelly on this side of the pond. Not without a careful marketing and advertising campaign anyway.

Which has me thinking: What the heck is Simon going to call this product? Personally, I’d go with “Undershirt.” I mean, why not pair Simon’s signature scent with his signature look? Plus, starting the brand with “Under” recalls the success of Idol‘s own Carrie Underwood. And the tagline practically writes itself: “For the man brave enough to appear on national television in a tatty old Hanes.” Hot!

What do you think, PopWatchers? I suggest you continue the brainstorming sesh in the comments section below. Go! (And get all my Idol ridiculata by following me on Twitter: @EWMichaelSlezak!)